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SONGnotes: I’m Not That Woman Anymore

October 26, 2012

Sometimes, “less is more,” or so the old adage goes. In fact, it’s probably the first and cardinal rule of understated elegance. Instead of a ring on each finger (and two on each toe), one ring per hand carefully chosen and strategically placed can make more of a statement.

Consider the elegance of speech—words that are “fitly spoken like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Proverbs 25:11) as opposed to a spate of words that leaves you numb by the time the speaker is finished.

Sometimes, less is more—

the lingering touch of a loved one that stays with you long after you have left their company;

the lingering aroma of a subtle perfume that stirs passions and memories;

Sometimes, less is more.

But then again, sometimes LESS is simply LESS. In fact, sometimes LESS is dangerous. Sometimes, LESS cheats you and those around you of the gifts that are within you.

The song “I’m Not That Woman Anymore” arose from my coming to grips with the reality that sometimes LESS is simply LESS.

Sometimes LESS is not good for you or those around you.

When LESS means that someone’s expectations of you would put you into a box not of your choosing,

When LESS means that someone would want your light to be dimmed in order for their light to shine more brightly,

When LESS means that someone would rather you not speak because of the way your words upset their neatly ordered world,

Then, sometimes LESS is NOT more. LESS is simply LESS.

LESS is simply LESS when we would have to shrink into a box, become a shrinking violet tucked away in a little corner where we begin to slowly wither and eventually die, losing sight of who we are, losing sight of the graces and beauty God has bestowed upon our lives.

 For me, the situation involved work supervisors/ministerial colleagues. That combined with the LESS that I had been willing to accept of myself.

For some, it is the fears that have entrapped you.

For others, it may be a love(r) who cannot see your beauty, who wants less of you, who does not want you to really shine, who only wants you in the shadows.

For others, it may be an addiction or habit that has had a grip on your life so much so that it has robbed you of your vitality and potential.

LESS is not always more. Sometimes, LESS is simply LESS!

I continue to be inspired by the oft-quoted words of Marianne Williamson, who says,

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Return to Love (Harper Perennial, 1996)

“I’m Not That Woman Anymore” (excerpts)

Did you think I would be afraid to walk away somehow?

Did you think I would be forever in your debt somehow?

Did you think I should see myself through you? No way! No how!

Did you think I could be content to hang my head and bow?


I’m not that woman anymore, content to be a mat that’s at the door,

Agreeing to just shrink into the box you would put me in!

I’m not the girl I used to be, thinking I should somehow make you see

That there is so much more to me than you’ve seen or heard.

I can laugh and hold my head up high.  I can tell this foolishness “Bye-bye!”

And celebrate the woman that you see, not who I used to be.


I can laugh and hold my head up high! I’ve got that strength now!

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  1. SONGnotes: I’m Not That Woman Anymore « dmariesings

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